Wednesday, January 28, 2009

"The Great Outdoors"

I have joked in previous blogs about how I felt about outdoor activities when I was a little girl.

Since I have become an adult, however, my feelings about being outdoors have changed a bit.

There are things about nature that I enjoy now, that I would never have been able to appreciate as a child.

One thing that I enjoy is walking the nature trails in some of the parks and mountains in north Georgia. I haven't done it in a long while because my husband has no interest in doing it, and I'm afraid to go alone.

I had one fishing experience as a child. I was about eight or nine years old. My Dad bought fishing rods for me and my brothers and sisters, and we all went to the lake.

My dad baited my hook and helped me cast my line out. I was all set. Within ten minutes I realized that I had a fish on my line. I began reeling it in, but as soon as I had a visual on the fish, I stopped reeling and began yelling for my Dad.

My Dad was a helping my brothers and sisters get ready to fish, but was trying to get to me as quickly as he could. Meanwhile, since I had stopped reeling so soon there was an excess of line for the fish to flip and flop around on.

This caused the line to start swinging and the fish slapped against my thigh....that did it for me. I threw rod, reel, fish and all right into the lake. My Dad arrived just in time to watch it sink.

I think he was upset with me because he couldn't begin to wrap his mind around why I had done something like that. He was, however, able to handle it well in the end.He just looked at me and said "don't worry about it, Go and get a chair and sit down and watch your brothers and sisters."
He was shaking his head as he walked away, and I never got another fishing rod.

I have since had many successful fishing trips as an adult. Each and every year our class of special needs students goes on a fishing trip that I really enjoy.

I think my attitude has changed because now, I appreciate the beauty of the lake and the peace and quiet that comes with fishing. It doesn't hurt that I've learned that you can fish with shrimp and small pieces of hotdog so that no worms have to be involved.

There are also several partners from the community that help us with our students so when I get lucky and catch a fish, one of the men are always willing to take it off the hook for me. Overall it's always a great day.

I also love being out on the lake in a boat. I love the feeling of the wind combined with the warmth of the sun. I do keep my face out of the sun now all that I can, but being a sun worshiper from way back, I do love the feel of it on my skin.

Another thing that I would enjoy doing would be going on a romantic picnic. The type with wine and a blanket, deep conversation and quiet cuddle time, but as I may have mentioned before my husband would need Merriam Webster's help with the word romantic, so I probably won't be experiencing that any time soon.

One of my very favorite outdoor things to do is go to the beach. I could walk the shoreline indefinitely. I also love being on the beach with a good book and a beverage. (preferably something with an umbrella in it signifying that it contains alcohol)

When I sit and listen to the sounds of the ocean waves, and watch them crest one over the other, I am in such awe at its magnitude and beauty, and it brings me such a great opportunity for introspective thought and surrounds me with such a feeling of peace....There really are no words for it.

I'm not sure how anyone could see, hear, and feel the ocean and deny that there is a God.

I have not gotten the opportunity to see just how adventurous I could be on a hiking or camping trip now, because I feel like to be in the woods I need a man with me, and my husband isn't interested in doing either one.

I know that some people may think that my saying that I need a man is a neanderthal Idea, and are probably getting all Gloria Steinem on me right now for saying it, but they can hit the woods alone if they so desire. I'll take the man.....

I might even be willing to spend one night in a tent.....providing, of course, that the conditions were right and the right man was present...(I have learned a few other things since I've grown up.)

After writing this I've decided that I want to start doing more things outdoors.....Spring is coming, and that is a wonderful time to be outside.... I do realize, however, that I'm either going to have to try to talk my husband into doing more things I want to do, or enlist my friends. I'm going to enjoy spending all that time with my friends...

Friday, January 23, 2009

"Worker Bees And Slackers"

I have worked in a few different places throughout my life. I have had jobs ranging from working in a mall to working for a group of neurologists in Atlanta, and now I am in a high school classroom.

Over the course of time it has been my experience that all of the jobs have had one thing in common even though the positions themselves have varied greatly. The common denominator is always the same. The worker bees and slackers are always present.

The worker bees are, of course, the ones who actually do all of the work, while the slackers are easily identified as the ones who do nothing, make the most money, and get stunned looks on their faces when they are asked directly to do a specific task requiring that they put for effort.

The degree of slackers varies from the ones who just do the least amount of work they can, to the ultimate slackers who have an uncanny ability to "make 8" without accomplishing a single work related task all day.

When I worked at the mall, the head slacker was someone with the mindset of who cares about commission? I 'll just stand here all day, collect my minimum wage, and cash my paycheck. With money in hand, I'll then make a purchase of some funny tobacco for myself that I can roll up in a 1.5 and burn baby burn....Hey, everybody needs a plan.

When I moved onto the doctors office there was a woman there who could very well be the queen of all slackers, if someone should take a poll. Each morning she would pull a few files from the shelf, take them to her desk, open the top one, and pull up a patient information page on her computer screen.

Other than having to move her fingers on the keys, should one of the doctors happen by, so she appeared to be covered up, and putting the files away at 4:00, her work for the day was done.

I kid you not, this woman should have ended her day by standing up from her chair and saying "I'd like to thank the academy".

Now I work in the school system, and surprise the slacker factor exists here as well. When the students have group work the same things go on that have always gone on. One or two of the students are the worker bees while the slacker, who is just along for the ride, waits with baited breath to see what grade they have earned for him or her.

Unfortunately, over the years I've spent in education I've seen the slacker factor in some of the adults as well. Let me also add that not all of them were teachers. Some have held other positions in the school building, some were county office workers, and some even stop by to "serve"students in a specialized area.

I suppose that I feel frustrated because I have watched so many of these people get by with their behavior as I worked diligently beside them and received no more pay or respect than the slacker received.

I feel sure that as you read this you are also thinking that you work with someone just like the people that I am talking about.

Do I understand how these people lay their heads down at night? No. Do I think that this will ever change? No. Do I feel better for having vented here about it? Abso-friggin-lutely!

"Twinship"

I have an identical twin sister. My sister and I were born only five minutes apart and we shared a room from birth until I got married. We were best friends growing up, and we dressed alike until we were ten years old, alternating who picked our clothes out every other day. We also participated in our share of twin antics on occasion.

My mom got the same question over and over when we were little girls.."Are they twins? " I remember that even as a five or six year old this seemed like a dumb question to me.

We looked exactly alike, same clothes, same hair style, same size.....not rocket science. I wish that my mom had just once pointed to one of us and said something like "no they're not twins, I cloned that one."

It is still funny to me, however,that we carry the label "identical" considering we are almost nothing alike. We have some similarities such as; our voices sounding alike, having some mannerisms that are the same, and of course, as I mentioned before, we look alike.

My sister and I differ greatly in personality as well as our preferences for recreational activities.
This was as true when we were children as it is today. She wanted to do things like play softball and basketball, and all I wanted was some pom-poms.

This would not have been a problem except for the fact that if one of us wanted to do something my mom signed us both up. Oh yes! We were a pair and we came as a set under any and all circumstances.

The first thing I remember my mother asking us if we wanted to do was join the Brownies. Brownies are a young level of Girl Scouts. When I learned there were little brown dresses, pins, hats, ties, and meetings as well as arts and crafts, it was YES for me.

Mom signed us up, and I loved it. We participated for a few years becoming Girl Scouts, complete with green dresses, sashes, and all the badges we cared to earn.

I had only one close call to a bad experience while I was a Girl Scout and that came when we went on a camping trip. I was initially very excited . I packed my bag with all of the things on the list I was given, including my new sleeping bag, and got in the car.

Everything was going great until I actually got my first look at the accommodations for sleeping and showering. I am not sure what I expected to find upon my arrival but I will tell you that when I got the visual I was stunned.

I immediately called my mother from a pay phone and reported that the conditions were unacceptable. I mean...an open air, no door, very public shower with a pull chain...they must have been kidding. I also informed her that we had passed a Holiday Inn right before we arrived at the camp site and that I would be needing a room.

I know...close call right. My mother rescued me and transported me back and forth for the daily activities. I have since decided that this doesn't make me a bad person, it's just simply that the "roughing it" type camping isn't for everyone.

I appreciate the outdoors now, but a cabin with a private bathroom and a bed to sleep in is as close to "camping" as I care to get.

Other than the camping thing I enjoyed the time I spent as a Girl Scout, but, I feel pretty confident in saying my sister wasn't loving the whole experience.

The next activity we signed up for was my sisters choice. So before I knew how it happened I was on a softball team. I got a uniform, cleats, and a glove, but one thing that I didn't have was a clue.

I had no idea what to do, so each and every time I heard the coaches say someone would have to sit out my hand went up like they had requested volunteers. I can also tell you that they never refused my offer. This was due to my lack of athletic ability I'd venture to guess.

My twin was an all-star player and she earned many iron on stars for her hat. These were awarded for great plays and hits. I earned myself one little star when during one of our games I was playing out in the field and a pop fly accidentally found its way into my glove. Evidently my coaches thought I had something to do with it landing there and who was I to argue?

By seasons end, after frequently "riding the pine" my nylon shorts had more knots and picks in them than a chenille bedspread.

After suffering through the softball experience the next activity was mine to choose. Yep you guessed it....it was pom pom time. I loved cheering and I'm sure I drove our mother insane with my practicing cheers and splits and all of that. We did the recreation cheering thing and we were on the pep squad at our middle school.

I feel pretty sure my sister wanted to kill me when all of that was said and done, and in retrospect I can't say that I would have blamed her. I probably needed killing.

Another thing my mom always insisted on was that we remain in the same classes throughout elementary school, and so we did. Several teachers and principals let her know that in their professional opinions she was making a huge mistake, but she stuck to her demands and they were forced to comply.

I have since read several research studies done by prominent doctors and other professionals, regarding twins, that show my mother was right. It seems they have learned that separating twins from both their parents and their twin sibling when they go to school causes the children to experience double separation anxiety...(Thank you Mom!)

As we were growing up we shared much more than our bedroom. We shared each others joy and pain. We knew, and still do know, when something is wrong with the other one.

I have such a closeness with my twin sister it's almost as if even when we aren't together I can feel her with me. That sounds odd I am sure, but that's just how it is.

Over the years we had the normal sibling arguments, and we both went through a great deal for the sake of the other ones wants.

We have shared our true feelings about our adolescent years since we've become adults and we laugh at how tortured we felt during some of our "extra curricular activities", but neither one of us carries an ounce of regret. We wouldn't change it, even if we were given the choice.

We have decided that we are just better and more well rounded people for having traveled through the experiences the other one chose. We not only learned from one another, we also know that for each other's happiness, it was well worth the trip...

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

"Post It Notes For The Neighbors"

There are few things in this world that annoy me more than people who have tacky things going on outside their homes for their neighbors to enjoy.

I wave, or speak and say hi when my neighbors are outside, but that's about the extent of it. I mind my own business where my neighbors are concerned, and I appreciate the ones who give me that same courtesy.

There are several things that some of them do, however, that make me desperately want to leave them post it notes.

One of the things that drives me insane is when people hang up sheets or other fabric to cover windows. You have seen this before I am sure. This includes fabric of loud solid colors, bold patterns or stripes, as well as bed sheets with juvenile prints on them.

You know the ones, superman, batman, strawberry shortcake, etc.. Doing this takes tacky to another level. Their post it note would read: "You have tacky fabric hanging up in the front of your home, just to let you know."

Another pet peeve of mine is when people leave their garage doors open. I don't want to see the contents of your garage, nor, I feel certain, do the other neighbors.

What makes this one even better is that inevitably the same people who leave their doors open are the same people who have more content in their garages than they have in the Smithsonian Institute.

For a bonus these people make sure that it always looks like an atomic bomb was recently detonated in the center of it all.

Post it note for these people: "Close your garage door on your personal disaster area, Thank You!"

The next thing that I love to see a homeowner do is paint their home in bright colors such as lime green, street line yellow, or royal blue with dark blue shutters, just to name a few.

When I see this, I just want to knock on the door and say things like; "why?" "Was the paint free?", "Are you color blind?", "Please, help me understand!" Post it note: "You are killing me with the exterior paint !"

Oh, and let me not forget the wonderful people with such excessive Christmas spirit that they decorate their homes with strings and strings of lights and NEVER take them down.

You've seen them. The lights that still remain up in July and August. This to me is the equivalent of putting a large banner in front of your home that reads "I am the laziest human being on Earth!"

I mean this problem is easily solved. Post it note for them: "If you can't expend the energy to take your Christmas lights down, leave them in the attic....Christmas was over six months ago! Spread the word!!!"

Now, on to the individuals who think that they need to wedge a large metal framed swing complete with awning onto a porch that is at most two feet wide. Post it note: "Large swings with awnings are for the yard people!"

And last but not least, as far as flower pots, gnomes, flamingos, and other miscellaneous yard decorations go....Post it note: "Less is Best on the yard decor. Simplify, Please!!"

The thing that really slays me about all of the things that I have listed above is that these homes are owned by people with enough sense to be licensed drivers and yet they pull up in their driveways each and every day and evidently think that these great choices are all good ones.

Obviously, I need to give great consideration to taking this whole post it note gig on full-time upon my retirement...

Of course, that would be lots of work. Maybe I should just get a flamingo and a gnome and put my Christmas lights back up and go with that whole "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em" motto....

Thursday, January 8, 2009

"Batter Up"

Last year my family had the idea that we all needed to form a softball team and join the local recreation league. I am one of five children and we have, of course, had additions over the years of children and spouses.

When all was said and done the team consisted of my two sisters, two brothers, brother-in-law, nephew, niece, nephew's girlfriend, friend, friend's daughter, son-in-law, two of my nephews college baseball teammates, and myself.

Everyone agreed that we would do it, and we even committed to actual practices a few times a week. We paid our fees, assigned numbers, ordered our jerseys, and bought gloves and cleats.

I even went the extra mile and bought myself a softball bat, with Jenny somebodies name on it, that cost me nearly a hundred dollars. (I knew I'd need all the help that I could get.)

After I acquired the new bat I had to purchase a Nike equipment bag to put it in, and my husband, knowing me like he does, took it while I was at work one day and had my initials and number embroidered on it in pink. I was ready to play.

We held a few leisurely practices and then came our first game. Good Lord, we couldn't have been any worse if we had been coached by Walter Matthau. I have to say whoever said that 40 was the new 30 had never seen most 40 year olds participating in an athletic event.

We were a hot mess! My position was behind first base, I think it's called left field but I'm not sure. I knew that my ability to catch pop flies was doubtful at most, but I was thinking ahead. I immediately befriended one of the college players and he promised to play near me and "have my back" so to speak.

He and I formulated a two part plan. It was as follows; 1. If it comes right to me, pick it up and throw it to him. 2. If it comes anywhere near him, he has it, get out of the way. Perfect! His name is Stephen, and I still love that kid.

There was one thing that did catch me by surprise, and that was what serious business recreational softball has become. The umpires called the games like they were working at Turner Field. They barked out the strikes, and yelled "OUT" loud enough to cause someone to lose their hearing. They weren't very friendly either, to be perfectly honest.

I don't know if some of the pitchers I faced thought that they were pitching in the bottom of the 9Th in the World Series, or if this was just my perception combined with my lack of athletic ability. I do know that trying to get a hit off of one of them was like trying to get a president to be monogamous...not going to happen.

The other teams were vicious. Many of the men were pompous and full of bad attitude, and several of the women looked like linebackers from the NFL just trying to occupy themselves during the off season. They had zero concept of ladylike. I even saw a few of them spit.

I admit we used our share of Icy Hot and we nearly ran the three college guys to death, but they were good sports about it, and overall we had a great time. I don't know when I've laughed as much, even with all the losses.

By seasons end our team had managed to win one or two games, and we created memories that are priceless. So even though most of us, including me, have sworn off of team sports as a safety precaution, and the next time we hear "batter up" we'll be in the stands, we left the ballpark after our last game with both a feeling of relief and one of being grateful to have had the experience.



Tuesday, January 6, 2009

"Aging Gracefully"

I just recently had a birthday on which I turned 46 years old. I have to admit that it was a little alarming, as it put me on the closer side to 50. Birthdays always make me introspective and cause me to think about aging, which by the way, I hope that I am able to do gracefully.

It does not help me that my wonderful husband and two grown children feel so free to make random comments about my age. My husband said "you're almost 50 years old!" I replied by saying "I am not. I have years to go before I will be 50."

My daughter, who just happened to over hear the conversation, was more than happy to add, "well mom, if you rounded it up...." all the sudden she's a math whiz.......

I was nearly pushed over the edge last night when my husband called me "half-century girl". To make it even better he was grinning as he spoke. This to me, was beyond unbelievable considering he is almost two years older than I am.

I must tell you that some of his past comments have been so bad that he has been instructed by one of his friends to stop and count before he voices great remarks such as the one I just told you about. Needless to say, sometimes he forgets.

My son does his part to help his father and his sister as well. He recently became alarmed, regarding my forgetfulness. He informed me that he intended to tell his father that I needed a complete physical because there was something wrong with me.

I assured him that the forgetfulness was normal for women over 40. I should have said something like "not to mention the contributing stress factor of living with you people." I didn't. I suppose I was just too touched by his concern.

My explanation did stop the demands that I get a physical, but now when I have a conversation with him, and I have forgotten something he's told me previously, he just throws his hands up and says "oh, that's right, your ovaries are shutting down." We are a family that thrives on humor.

There are other cons to aging, like the wrinkles, and things like that, and they are hard to accept at times. There is a poem, written by Sylvia Plath, called "Mirror" that is brutally honest about aging. In this poem, she refers to a woman looking in a mirror and seeing herself as she ages.

The poem says, as if the mirror were speaking, "In me she has drowned a young girl, and in me an old woman rises toward her day after day".

Ms. Plath also refers to the moon and candles as liars. She does this because they soften the signs of aging with their light, and so we don't see ourselves truthfully in their presence.

I have decided that I am not going to spend my time worrying about aging. I am instead going to be grateful for all of the birthdays that the Lord allows me to have. I am pretty sure this will work for me, at least until I reach that birthday that comes after my 49Th.

On the flip side, I have to be honest. I may stay away from mirrors more, and I do intend to make the most of moonlight and candles every chance I get. I also have to admit that I buy my share of miracle face creams and I try not to let gray hairs linger too long. ( A woman has to do what she has to do. Right?)

Thinking back on that whole statement I made earlier about hopefully aging gracefully.......I think after writing this I have a better understanding for what that means. I believe it means I'm going to have to keep a really good balance in the coming years, between I don't care how old I am, and doing what I can to hide the signs.......
 
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