Friday, January 8, 2010

"Clarification Will Come To Those Who Continue To Ask For It"

Let me begin by saying that I realize I write quite a bit about my husband, but with him being such a fountain of material, what can I do? That being said, I just had to share the following story:

There was a small ditch at the bottom of the driveway where the mailbox is located at our previous house. The driveway itself went up a hill and had a slight curve to it. I backed out of it numerous times without a problem. Occasionally, however, I went off the side of the driveway, at the bottom, and dug the grass up as I was leaving.

I had done this about two or three times when my mother-in-law came to visit, and it happened to her, but on a larger scale. She not only went off the driveway, she got stuck, and hit the mailbox, causing a good bit of damage to her car.

My husband, as you may have guessed, had no questions for his mother as to how it happened. Not one, not even while they were waiting on the police officer to come and fill out an accident report for the insurance company.

Each time it happened to me, however, even though my incidents only involved the grass, he was full of questions. He treated me as if he were back in the Criminal Investigation Division at work, and he was going to get answers if he had to turn on the bright light.

The questions he wanted answered were things like "How?", or the longer version, "How in the world did you manage to go off of the driveway and tear the yard up?" He would ask me these questions again and again.

Talking to him after I had been "in the ditch" so to speak, was like a very serious interrogation. He would ask the questions with a look on his face that was a mixture of confusion and stunned disbelief that seemed to beg for clarity.

The questions, however, were not my favorite of all of the things that he would have to say to me. My favorite always came in the form of a statement. He would just look at me and repeatedly say "I don't understand. I just don't understand how you manage it".

Well, then it happened... One night after he had gone out the door for work I was walking back through the house locking the doors, and as I came through the living room to check the front door I saw him through the window. He was in the ditch... and it gets better..it had been raining!

As my smile began to grow, I realized that I was holding my cell phone. Oh yes..you guessed it... I couldn't dial his number fast enough. I continued to watch the tires spin in the mud, and the truck get deeper in the ditch as I dialed.

My husband answered his phone with a tone that seemed a little irritated, so I had no choice, but to offer him some assistance. I asked him,in my most polite voice, "Do you need some help?". He responded with a very curt "No, I do not Arlene",at which point I believe he hung up on me, I just haven't been able to prove it.

At any rate, I continued to watch him out the window, and then my phone rang. It was him calling me back, and by this time I had gone from a large smile to laughing out loud. Needless to say, I had to just about sever my tongue off with my teeth to get it together long enough to answer his call.

Did I say hello? No, I did not. I said in a very serious tone.... "I guess it's crystal clear now isn't Lieutenant?".

Well, needless to say, his mood was no longer questionable. He was livid. He immediately shouted into the phone. "Can someone please come down here and hold the Da@# mailbox away from the passenger's side of the truck so that I can back up?", and then silence...another dropped call I suppose, again, no proof.

It wasn't rocket science for me to ascertain that I should probably remain inside, so I sent my Son-in-law to try and help him. This struggle went on for quite a few minutes until finally one of the neighbors saw the situation and used his truck to tow my husband out of the ditch. He left for work without ever coming back inside the house.

You would think that watching him go through all of that would have been enough for me... but I just couldn't let it go...

I called another officer, that we are friends with, and asked him if he could do me a favor. He said "sure, what do you need?". I said could you just write Steve a warning ticket for improper backing and leave it on his desk? Then I told him the story and we were both laughing.

When my husband got to work our friend did ask him if he had a hard time getting there that night, and my husband, not knowing, of course, that I had called ahead, said that he had not. The next question he got was, "what's the story on all of the mud on your shoes?". I feel sure that he had to share what happened after that last question, and I know he must have loved doing it.

To be perfectly honest with you, I am just so grateful that my husband got to have that whole experience. I mean I wouldn't have wanted him to have gone through the rest of his life not understanding the whole "stuck in a ditch" concept, especially since I know that being so confused about how something like that could happen had been so stressful and frustrating for him.

Being in the dark like that really hadn't been good for his blood pressure, and I am sure that he is a healthier man for having received clarity that night.

Yes, I just have to say that I'm very happy that all of his questions have been answered, and his confusion cleared up. Now, he is free to move on to trying to solve another one of life's big mysteries....
 
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