I Called Her Nana, She called me "R"

 The woman I am referring to in the title is my Mother-in-love.  When  I Tell you that she was a 

hot mess let me just say there are no truer words.

Nana was a one of a kind.  She was Southern to the core, accent included.  She was a spitfire full of

 love, determination, grit, and had a heart of gold.   If you decided to act a fool she would not be on

 board with that, I don't care who you are.  

I met her  son in the Spring of 1979.  His name is Steve.  Steve and I began dating in June of 1980.  I

 had been wanting to meet his parents, but we were a good distance apart geographically and Steve

 worked a lot so a day trip to meet them hadn't been possible.  One day, when I was out with his little

 sister, she decided to take me by their house to meet his mom. 

  She seemed like the sweetest woman ever, and had an amazing sense of humor.  I loved her

 immediately.  I didn't know it at the time, but there were many more facets to

her.  I could not have begun to image that day how much more there was to her personality.

The woman loved antiques, dishes, picture frames with family photos, costume jewelry, and all 

forms of nonsense (my sister-in-loves term for Knick knacks).  She stopped at every antique store and

 yard sell she passed. 

Nana had her house so full she couldn't put a thing anywhere.  She even had my nephew hang 

shelves over her door frames for more nonsense.   When we would visit, myself or one of her

 daughters, if we said we liked something she would give it to us. She would then visit us and say

"This is cute.  I'm taking it back".  Hot mess.

The piece I loved the most hung over her stove and said "Simplify".   I mean crack up! 

Her home, when I first met her was classy and elegant, as she aged it became quaint and precious. 

She raised four wonderful children and worked hard her entire life.  She loved deeply.  She was 

the person that bought gifts for us that were precious treasures Things she knew we would love. Example:

She and I were in an antique store one day, and I saw a Currier and Ives plate and told her that

my Granny, whom I dearly loved, had them and they made me think of her. The next Christmas she

gave me an entire set including serving pieces.  She was so thoughtful.

I have  decided to write about this amazing woman here and share a few of her stories with all of 

you so here goes...

Steve (Her son) and I were married in 1983, and when our first anniversary came he bought me a Gucci

 watch. She came to the house, shortly there after, and Steve was at work.  Nana spotted the watch and

 asked me where I got it. I told her it was my anniversary present from Steve, and she said "Do you

 have the box?" I said yes ma'am.

She said get the box , we are returning it. You don't need it. I was in shock, but I complied. She marched

right up to the jewelry counter at the mall and returned it.  I know now that she was absolutely right.

She was teaching us about needs and wants.

Nana came to our house on another occasion and she brought me an oven mitt and some potholders

that she found to match the Waverly Rose pattern I was using in my kitchen at the time. I told her that

 she was so sweet to do that.  I then asked her if she would pick me up another set when she went back

 home to Florida if I gave her the money.  She asked me why?  I said in case I scorch or burn one of

 these. Without missing a beat she looked right at me and said "You've gotta cook something to burn 

something R.".  

Nana was a spitfire for sure.  She told me a story from when she was about 16.  She said that her

Mama suspected that her father was being a bit messy to put it politely.  That being said, one day

Nana, her mama, and her cousin Delia Mae decided to squad up and follow him.  They drove to

where they thought he would be.  Unfortunately for him, they were spot on. When they had him in

sight, they saw that he had a woman in the passenger seat of his car.  They followed him to his

 destination....  The woman's apartment.  Nana said her mother, who was with child at the

time, jumped out of the car and as luck would have it, spotted a 2x4 laying in the parking lot. 

Yes honey...A weapon of opportunity.  Nana's mother grabbed said weapon and headed toward 

the passenger side of her husband's car, at which point her husband made a grave error.  He

 He started toward Nana's mama to rescue said woman, at which point Delia Mae got involved.

She intended to stop him.  Nana said "That's when he made a huge mistake.  He pushed Delia Mae."

Nana said "When he did, I jumped up on his back and started poking my fingers in is eyes as hard as I 

could,, while Delia Mae beat him about the head and shoulders with her fists. This statement

 caused me to envision a lightweight boxer and a spider monkey, but I kept my thoughts to myself.  I'm

 not sure How the other woman faired.  I am guessing not to well, but I know this much...The Victory

 went to the Squad that day. I suppose it's true...Crazy in the south runs deep.

She was a protector of her Mama and of her daughters. One of her daughters unknowingly married

a man who was meaner than a snake.  He decided to push her or something one night at their house.

He didn't know Nana good yet.  One of her grandsons called and told her what was going on and a 

few short minutes later she walked through the front door, grabbed a candelabra off the mantle, marched over to him, flung his water in his face and gave him what for with the candelabra.  Situation handled.

Nana had five grandchildren, four boys and a girl.  The girl belongs to me.  She wasn't really the 

the rowdy type.  Her grandsons, however, could be off the chain so to speak.  When they would start

doing the most Nana would always Yell..."I'm going to whip you Asses right now if you don't quit", 

or "Get me my yardstick.".  Later in her life she had a heart attack and had to have open heart surgery.

All the Grands were older by then, and while she was still in intensive care one of the boys and my

daughter went back into  CICU to see her..   The two of them came out, laughing and crying.  I said 

what's wrong and my nephew said "She's going to be fine R." I said how do you know that? He said

"She looked up at me and said "I can't do it right now, but when I get up, I'm going to whip your

Ass.".  

On another Occasion my nephew was staying with me after coming home from overseas, where he had

 been serving in the military.  He and my son were in the bedroom playing a game on their computers,

and Nana had also come for a visit. It was around 3 in the morning. My husband and I were sleeping.

 I woke  up to Nana screaming and yelling at the boys (Men) , running from one to the other hitting

 them with a plastic coat hanger and saying "Get off the silly ass games and lay down!"  My over 6'ft.

 tall nephew, who keep in mind, had just returned from war.. stood up  and said go lay back down you

 little Ewok... Her height?  around 5'.  Like I said before she didn't care who you were.  when I got back

 to bed my husband said what was all of that about? .I said that was your mother beating our son and

 my favorite freedom fighter with a plastic coat hanger for being up to late...I had to laugh.  Again...

Hot mess.

One day Nana and I were talking on the phone, and I mentioned that I was having a hard time

going to sleep at night.  She said "Okay, do this...Relax and image it as you think to yourself  

My toes are so relaxed, my feet are so relaxed, my ankles are so relaxed, my calves are so relaxed and

just go all the way up your body." Followed by "I hardly ever get past my knees.". Hot mess express.

Nana always had myself and one other brother-in-law doing all the things she needed done.  One day 

my brother-in-law said "you do realize we are the outlaws."  I said what are you talking about? He 

said she never asks the other two brother-in-laws to do anything.  They are the in-laws."  I said oh okay. 

One of them is an engineer and the other is an attorney. I know she considered the engineer extremely handsome which he is, and the other is handsome as well but all Nana needed to hear about him was the word attorney.  

In the Winter of 2014, she came up to visit Steve and I.  She wasn't feeling well so we took

her to the local hospital where she was diagnosed as needing a heart valve replacement.  She was

told that she wouldn't live very long without the surgery.  We all begged her to have the surgery.  She

was tougher than nails, but she refused.  She said she had done everything she wanted to do. Steve and 

I took her home and her health began to decline.  Her daughters came to visit and help take care of her,

 but I was her primary caregiver and spent a lot of time alone with her. She shared more stories.  Stories

 about her teenage years, and hanging out with the drugstore cowboys, evidently the bad boys of her

 time, her marriage, and stories about each one of her children and what it was like raising them.  

Nana loved the old tv series Hart To Hart. I would watch an episode with her daily. One afternoon she 

began yelling for me and I went running down the hall to see if she was okay. She was fine, just

super excited.  She said "R it's a Hart To Hart marathon!"  I was internally thinking Oh Lawd..not a 

marathon, but I lay myself down on the couch at the foot of her bed and we talked, laughed, shared 

stories and I learned many things about her that day that I never knew.  I thank God today for that

Marathon.

As the days came and went she begin to sleep more and talk less.  I was cleaning her room one day

and she said "R, am I dying?"  I said you are very sick.  I asked her if she remembered refusing the

heart surgery and she said yes.  I told her that I couldn't answer that question that only God knew

the answer to that.  She said "what is the good Lord waiting on?" I again had to answer with I don't

 have an answer Nana .".I read Mary Kay Andrews books to her, Sang "How Great Thou Art to her and 

talked about God and Heaven and what we thought it would be like..

One of the last afternoons that she was able to speak she said "R when I go you are going to be 

the one who will find me. I've already seen it." Lord I prayed not .  One of the very last things she said

 to me, as tears slipped from her eyes and mine was "R, you are not my daughter-in-law, you are my

 daughter and I love you like my own.".   I knew in that moment that all of the times she corrected me

or told me something I needed to hear , but might not have been quite ready to hear, she was treating

 me like she treated her own, and I cried harder.  I held her in a long hug and told her that I loved her

 beyond words.

Nana was right....  On the evening of September 14th, 2015 I  came into  her room and

God had taken her home.  She was at peace.  I kissed her gently as my tears fell. and I thanked her for

all that she had done for me, and I let her know again how very much I loved her.

Nana most definitely left a void in me, but I am so grateful for her presence in my life, for her

stories, her sense of humor, and most of all for her precious son that I was blessed to be married to.

When I close my eyes I can still hear her recounting one of her stories, and I smile.  

Nana, Life with you was quite a ride and I am so grateful that your son gave me a ticket....

I'll see you when I get there....Love you always "R"