Sunday, February 27, 2011

"White Rabbits And Other Treasures"

This morning I opened the door that leads from inside our home to the garage and the first thing I saw was a very large white rabbit. For a fleeting moment I thought my name was Alice, and I had fallen into a hole, but before I began to spin hopelessly out of control, I spotted the over sized operating room lamp from the 1940's standing next to it. I knew then that I was in fact not Alice, but that my husband had been out buying antiques again.

After further investigation, I learned that the white rabbit was actually a prop for the Ice Capades in the 1940's or 50's..along with the stage lights and costumes that were lying beside said rabbit.

I was also informed that people who decorate lofts are loving these old operating room lamps for corners of their rooms. I had no idea. Evidently I live under a rock...

My husband has been buying and selling antiques for years. He keeps some pieces that we like, and resells others. He loves it, and he has been able to do this while making a profit most of the time.

The things he brought home when he was still working at the police department were few in number, but now that he's retired he has filled a rented storage unit, and the phrase that seems to fit our garage these days is "cut a path". I mean it looks like there was a taping of Antique Roadshow going on and someone ran amuck.

Antiquing has other downfalls that one may not think about right away. For instance, the other night he came walking in with a box full of things to look through. When he sat it down on the floor a bug came crawling out that I could not even begin to identify. Once he had taken care of the bug, I sent him and his little treasure box right back out the door. I have since created a check point at the door that leads out to our garage and have informed him of its hours of operation.

Don't get me wrong, I have an appreciation for certain antiques, and he has brought home some really neat things, like an original program from the Gone With The Wind premiere, which I love, and an actual column from when the restoration of the Fox Theatre in Atlanta was done.

There have also been things like really old letters and postcards from the early 1800's that were very fascinating to read.

It makes me happy that he has something to do that he enjoys so much. I just think maybe he should be a bit more selective in what he brings home. I mean a large white rabbit? Seriously?

Please believe me when I tell you that the white rabbit only scratches the surface of his "purchases".

This man has brought home things that even he can't identify by name, use, or purpose, as well as some that can be identified, but I have been unable to grasp the need for. We are talking about a man who once bought a pair of antique bowling shoes complete with size on the back, and actually wore them downtown to the Phillips Arena for a Thrashers game. Oh yes, as a bonus, he is at all times a man of great style and fashion sense.

There are also times that I find myself thinking that it would be nice if I could go out and get into the truck without having to call him to unload it first...you see the thing is I have no intention whatsoever of driving around town looking like I just drove straight out of an episode of Sanford And Son.

Speaking of the truck, I do also happen to know that he, at some point, came across some old 96 Rock stickers. I know this because I spotted the one that he has recently applied to the bumper of our truck. 96 Rock was a very popular radio station here in Atlanta during the late 1970's. It was what my husband listened to when he was in high school..Rock On!!

Like I said before, I appreciate some antiques myself, but Lord have mercy on a wife who has to make old bowling shoes disappear, and weave her way through white rabbits and operating room lamps just to get into her vehicle so she can leave for work every morning...

Thursday, February 10, 2011

"Playing To An Audience Of One"

I have learned quite a few things about my husband in the many years that we've been married, among them being that he enjoys providing me with entertainment.

I'm not talking about the movies, or the fact that he takes me to plays and dancing. In fact, Jesus will come before he does any of those things with me.

The entertainment I'm referring to is very sporadic and random, and consists of singing and dancing. Sometimes one, sometimes the other, or at times these talents can be seen simultaneously.

Be advised the shows start whenever the spirit moves him, and let me just say that the spirit moves him both at home, and in the public. The timing evidently cannot be controlled.

I will share with you a few examples of how random these performances can be. He has been known to dance and sing across the catwalk in our former home in what I can only compare to a risky business "outfit" minus the shades.

On another occasion we were at the grocery store, and as we were strolling down the cereal aisle he suddenly snatched up a box of pop tarts and began a little song and dance routine like he had been hired by the Kellogg's Company and placed in their advertising department.

Needless to say I immediately sped up with the shopping cart, but as I was leaving him behind he shouted out "Ma'am, Ma'am..if you leave I have to start the whole routine over again...There were many onlookers.... I was mortified...him? Not at all..

One afternoon as I was coming home from work he called and asked me where I was. I told him that I was driving home, and he said "Just listen to this"...

The next thing I heard was a rather loud rendition of When A Man Loves A Woman, and it was my husband singing it. I have to admit it made me smile and upon hearing some of the notes even chuckle. When I finally arrived home that day I learned that he had, in his spare time,discovered Karaoke on demand.

Just the other day I was sitting in my office, drinking my first cup of coffee of the morning, when suddenly there he was in front of my desk. He began to sing....
very loudly....He stood there doing his best Bob Seger imitation. He was pouring his heart and soul into Turn The Page. It was 8:30 A.M. on a Saturday morning....

At first...I just sat there and stared at him...with what I am sure, was a look of disbelief on my face...A look that most assuredly asked, Seriously? Is this happening right now?

I then had a fleeting thought about the You Tube potential, but it passed as quickly as it came. This thought was followed by my thinking I am married to a man with a mind that is considerably unstable..

But as the song went on and I began to relax a bit with the aid of the laughter his performance brought me.... I couldn't help but think how very happy I am to be married to a man that thinks I am worth the time and effort he spends on these many occasions ..

The occasions when the spirit moves him and he's "playing to an audience of one"......
 
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