Crying In The Chapel (Written 3yrs prior to my father's passing published after for obvious reasons)

My parents have been divorced for 22 years. They have both dated different people during that time, some of which I have approved of and some of which...well let's just say not so much.

I have never considered how I would feel if one of them remarried because none of their relationships seemed to be heading in the direction of the whole rings and vows ceremony...Until about six months ago, when I got a call from my Daddy. He had one question for me...How would I feel if he got married?...

My reaction was immediate. I felt the sting of tears in my eyes and nearly choked on the softball sized knot that was forming in my throat. He's been seeing this same woman for a few years and so my siblings and I have gotten to know her.

Knowing her led me to have a fleeting thought, along with my tears and choking. When I heard his question...I thought "Oh God...the duct tape I'm going to have to wear over my mouth to keep me from speaking now or forever holding my peace is not going to look good at all with my dress......

Sharing my true feelings with my Dad at that point just didn't seem right, so I did what every good daughter, who was raised right, would do, and I said simply..." I love you Daddy, and I want you to be happy, so if that would make you happy, then I am happy for you."

Myself and my siblings immediately coined the phrase "Get on board" in reference to the upcoming

nuptials. We were just trying to accept the inevitable.  It was a coping mechanism of sorts.   

Well, as the last few months passed by, without another mention of this, I was sure that my father had changed his mind. I was wrong...The wedding is today.

Now before you think that I am a horrible person, let the record show that I'm not, but...she is......

She is the worst kind of woman. She does all of her evil in a way that I call "around the corner" When I say around the corner, I mean when no one else, (especially my father) but her intended victim can see or hear her. Now to further clarify let me define victim for you in this instance... Victim: Any one of my father's five children.

I think that she says and does things in this manner so that just in case we have any great ideas like trying to clue our father in he'll think we have lost our minds and his response will be something like "y'all are wrong, she's such a sweet woman".....or "I've never seen her do or say anything out of the way towards any of you".

Sweet woman? Sweet like the Wicked Witch of the West. Lord when the Minister says I now pronounce you husband and wife, she'll probably yell "Release the flying monkeys!", at which point my Dad may begin to see her true colors, but it will be to late for him then...Bless his heart, even if I put red glitter on his shoes and he clicked his heels together three times, when he got home she'd be there. Wives live with their husbands..

  

The bottom line is I love my Father with all of my heart, and I  will be there for him...handkerchief in hand...I will hug him and kiss his cheek and tell him that I wish him all of the happiness in the world, and that will all be true...

I will also be sending up a prayer that the Lord doesn't let me lay eyes on a bucket of water during the ceremony...I mean the last words spoken at a wedding really should be you may kiss your bride, not "I'm melting".....

During the ceremony I was seriously fighting back tears and as it turns out my twin sister was my saving grace.  Just as my tears were about to spill down my cheeks she nudged me, pushed the sleeve up on her sweater and there written on her forearm with black sharpie were the words "Get on board"...I couldn't help but crack up! 

In Your Easter Bonnet

It's springtime in Atlanta and I love it.  The peach trees that line Peachtree Street blossom and the sun casts a warm glow on my face when I step outside.  It is a wonderful time of year.  Everything around awakens from it's Winters rest, and I am reminded that Christ rose after dying for my sins. Easter Sunday arrives and  Everything echos of new beginnings.

All of this takes me back to many fond childhood memories.  One of my favorite is that of shopping for my Easter dress.   I can remember year after year from probably about the age of five that all my mother had to do was mention going downtown to shop and I would be at the door, fancy dress, patent leather shoes and gloves on, purse in hand.

We would arrive downtown and begin to walk the sidewalks of Atlanta going from one department store to the next in search of the perfect dress.  I can close my eyes and hear my patent leather shoes meeting the sidewalk generating a sound that in my little mind very closely mimicked that of my Mother's high heel shoes as she walked beside me.  I loved it.

Eventually I would find a dress.  I would be thrilled with the dress each year, but as soon as it was purchased I was faced with a whole new set of needs.  Yes when I was a little girl I "neeeeeeded" everything.  I would need a crinoline slip, turn down socks with ruffles (of course, I wanted hose, but for years my poor mother had to explain to me that I was entirely to young for that), new gloves, jewelry, a new purse, and without fail a hat.

We would shop all day and then we would head to The Magnolia Room.  The Magnolia Room was a tearoom that reeked of southern charm.  I remember sitting down at the table and watching my mother so as to know the exact moment to remove my white gloves and place them in my purse.

My mother and I would sit there and sip our tea.  We would discuss our purchases, and decide if we had a need for anything more, as we waited on our lunch to arrive.  After lunch we would take care of any forgotten purchases and return home.

I would spend the next week or so anxiously awaiting the arrival of Easter morning so that I could get my fancy on.  When it finally arrived I would jump up out of bed and begin to get ready in slow stages, making a production out of the entire process.

 I knew the story of Easter and how Christ had died for my sins, my Mama and Daddy made sure of it.  I greatly appreciated and still do all that Christ had done, and had said as much in prayer, but I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't also grateful for the opportunity to take fancy over the top.  I always dressed with crinolines and pretty dresses but there was just something about Easter allowing me to take it to a whole new level that thrilled me beyond words.

I feel absolutely certain that my prissy behavior bordered on ridiculous on Easter Sunday's.  To be honest it probably bordered on ridiculous most days and still does, but these memories made with my Mama are forever treasures to me.

I am sure that there are many parents out there that still honor the traditions today of  Sunday morning church service and new Easter clothes for their sweet children and that warms my heart.

Y'all just don't forget to stop and give our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ thanks for all that he went through for us, and for our salvation.  May God bless each and every one of you...

Now if y'all will excuse me, Easter Sunday is in just a few days and I neeeeeeed to go and purchase myself some new fancy...

Live Fancy

I was just sitting at home one day and I glanced over at my china cabinet, which is full of Old Country Roses china.  I thought to myself how beautiful the pattern is and how much I love it.

My second thought came in the form of a question.  That question was why do I leave it all shut up in the cabinet looking pretty when I could be using it?  I don’t mean in a formal dinner type fashion, I mean in a day to day way.

My thoughts then began to wander to other “fine” things put away for the perfect moment to use them or the right people to share them with.
 

As this thought process began to unfold, it turns out that my china was only “the tip of the iceberg” so to speak.

I began to think about using my crystal wine glasses, having fresh flowers just for me, wearing my finer lingerie every night, breaking out the finer teas and coffees, usually reserved for when guests are in the house, pinning my hair up in the mornings with my crystal hairpins to drink my coffee, wearing my expensive perfumes even if I’m not leaving the house that day, using a linen hanky for those tears, and the list goes on….

Now don’t get me wrong I heard a little voice that said the china could break, the lingerie will wear out, you should save it for special occasions or girl trips, and those crystal hairpins are for a night out somewhere special..

Well... I just turned the volume down to zero on all of that noise and found myself drinking my coffee right out of one of my china cups the next morning, wearing silk pajamas , hair up with crystal pins and I am here to tell you it felt good!!

I thought to myself right then and there from now on I am going to live life playing lady.  Just like a little girl that fancies up for a tea party, and best believe it was on…
 

I’m sure at times it borders on ridiculous, and I might very well, on some mornings, look like a leftover from prom night, but I just refuse to die with a bunch of life’s finer things stashed away in my drawers or shut up in a cabinet while I live life drinking out of some old random coffee mug, wearing an old t-shirt.

Now some of you may say I don’t have china and things like that.  Well I say to that…get yourself to T. J. Maxx or somewhere like that and purchase yourself a china cup and saucer at a good price. You might be thinking that fresh flowers are costly…Honey go outside and pick you some..I’m telling you God provides!! A dollar store vase later and you are in business!

What I’m saying is, where there is a will there is a better way to spend your day to day life. "Dress it up”.

Keep your mani-pedi fresh, even if you have to do it yourself.  When you have completed your morning teeth brushing ritual apply, some shiny lip gloss…get your shine on for coffee time!

After a long day,  get that hot bath, drop a little of your favorite perfume in the water, light a candle.

Give or get yourself a facial, wear those pearls, put a ribbon on it…Now I’m not saying whether I do or do not own and occasionally wear a tiara..I’m just saying in life, who or wherever you are…fancy feels good!!  After all you are a child of the Almighty God!

Come on y’all ..”Live fancy”..trust me…You are worth it!!  

Football: Coaches ...Y'all Listen Up!

Several years back , during my substitute teaching years, I accepted a job at a local high school where I  covered a gym class for a couple of weeks.  The first day,  I admit, even the process of  figuring out what to wear was a challenge.  After several outfit changes, I settled on a running suit, jacket left open, with a  matching t-shirt underneath.

I should have known I was in trouble when my daughter, a teenager at the time , had to tell me to “lose the pearls.”.  At any rate when I arrived I was informed that the class was made up of the football team and surprise, they were working on plays.

Football at the time was as foreign to me as sleeping in an igloo.   I had nothing.  The class began and they informed me that after attendance we went outside to “run plays”.

 That’s when one very vocal young man told me that I was to remain in the position of “Center” for the entire time.  I thought, well that makes sense.  I will be in the middle of everything and I can keep an eye on all of them.. So I said fine, you can show me what to do when we get outside.

As it turns out, the center is the one who hikes the ball and the quarterback places his hands right up between the Center’s legs so as not to fumble the ball.   Oh yeah, the vocal one that told me I was to be the center, he was the quarterback.…those kids had jokes.

At any rate, after those two weeks were done, I began to take a bit more interest in football and learning what it’s all about.  I watched more games and I even started a fantasy football league and have continued to do so every year.

These days I know quite a bit more than I did back in my “Center” days.  In fact, I have a few tips for the coaches out there….there are tips here for Coaches of teams of all ages , professional, college , high school, middle school and little league.

Coaches, y’all listen up…

Coaches of children…if it is 100 degrees outside or anywhere near that number, the children can’t run until they vomit and then be made to continue to run.  The body can only handle so much …heat strokes and worse have happened….take those babies inside and teach them about good sportsmanship, playbooks and the love of the game.

Offensive Coaches…if you are continuing to run the ball up the middle, and it’s NOT working…and I’m not talking about two or three plays. I’m talking about year after year, season, after season…You have another option (shocking, I know).  Put it in the air.  Pass it.  You can actually score this way…I’ve seen it done.  Some Coaches actually apply this tactic…but for the ones who don’t....Trust me. Try it.  If you are in a paid position you may actually keep your job. 

Defensive Coaches.. if your linemen are blocking like a bunch of high school girls during a powder puff football game, get new players…Send the old ones packing…you can’t make them want it.

All Coaches…This is an important one…If you are one of those that completely loses your cool on the sidelines after a bad play or call…Please know this…We, the fans, can see you....Whether we are there in the stands, or watching from the comfort of our home, and Crazy eyes are not very unbecoming.  So get it together…look tough, not crazy…set your jaw and keep your game face on!

Coaches and Owners… In the case of the NFL players of all positions …if they aren’t getting the job done with what they get paid to do it,  then trust me when I tell you, there is someone else a little tougher and hungrier out there that will!!  Get your trade on.

Another tip for not only the NFL Coaches and Owners, but for the Commissioner…No one wants to watch criminals play football!!! If they are beating women, stealing things, or getting arrested for other reasons not listed here..brace yourselves…They CAN be replaced….People want to watch a football game played by respectable men that young boys can look up to, not a game that looks like a reality T.V. version of the longest yard.

I admit that I have a lot to learn about the game, and I’m working on that.  Who knows they may actually have women coaches in the NFL one day and I’ve got to be ready…

West Palm Beach With My Girls

I recently went on a trip with my twin sister and two of my best friends to spend time with another of our friends at her condo in West Palm Beach.  We had the car loaded down with suitcases containing clothes for all occasions, shoes, hair products, and every cosmetic known to man.

The road trip alone was so much fun.  We laughed and sang as loud as we could along with the radio, and we told lots of stories that began with remember when….

When we arrived at the Condo, the concierge (my friend lives fancy) came out with a rolling cart for our luggage and we were still singing and laughing. That night we all hugged, laughed, and remembered more, and then we paired up for bed and called it a night.

We spent the next few days entertaining ourselves and doing whatever our spirits moved us to do.  We ate great food in nice restaurants and we shopped from City Walk to Worth Avenue.  

While at City Walk, in an absolutely adorable candy shop, my twin sister stopped suddenly and began a Temptations style dance routine because My Girl was playing. I mean she was taking it around town, finger snapping and all...  Oh yes…video taken and posted.

We also made time for water fun and games.  Our trips to the beach were pretty much uneventful, unless you count the fact that on our way home we recorded ourselves singing Redneck Crazy “Wide open”, as my Daddy would say. Video taken, and posted.

As luck would have it, there is a hot tub and huge pool at my friends condo, which couldn’t go unvisited.

We pretty much behaved ourselves in the hot tub.  I’d call our time spent there group therapy.  We talked about our relationships, our children, and life in general.  We of course got nothing sorted out, but we felt better for having talked about it.  Truthfully, all I probably managed to do was confirm that I'm 3 bales of crazy.

Our time spent at the pool was a bit more entertaining.  I was sitting in my chair catching a few rays, when I noticed three of my friends out in the center of the pool having what looked like a rehearsal of sorts. I lowered my sunglasses and upon closer inspection I was able to ascertain that they were in fact choreographing moves for  what appeared to be a  dance...

As the scene unfolded It became clear to me that they had decided to go all Esther Williams on the situation and perform a synchronized swimming act. I have never seen so much arm waving and feet kicking in my life They were circling and moving there heads this way and that...All they needed were swim caps and matching suits...  Don’t you just know what I had to do…Yep…video taken and posted.

We were sitting around one evening putting on enough makeup to make Dolly Parton proud when we came up with the idea to gamble.   Hollywood, Florida... Hard Rock Casino.. Let’s hit it… Money was lost and money was won and we had yet again another great evening.

During that week we shared clothes, accessories, Makeup, and laughs.  With the all the fixing up and sharing of rooms we all saw each other in our birthday suits at one time or the other, which prompted discussions about body image and all that entails.

 I had a wonderful time that week and was reminded how very important those friendships are to me.  I love you all my dear sweet friends, and I hope that we find ourselves on a beach somewhere together again real soon…So work on your routines and charge your phones for video taping….I might call any day now and say “Road trip Ladies... It's go time!"

You are all forever in my heart…

Daddy's Little Girl

I have written in the past about my Mama and all that she has taught me, but I learned quite a bit from my Daddy too.

First let me say that my Daddy is most definitely not the man that he is because he was taught by example. His father was, in my eyes, a pathetic excuse for a man. He was abusive in every way shape and form, as well as a non provider...as in no food, clothing, etc..for his children.

I shared that with you so that you have a clearer understanding of why I think my Daddy is so amazing.. He is the man that he is because of his personal character, not because he was shown by example.

My Daddy never spanked me or any of my siblings, and yet we knew when he said that was "enough", it was enough. It was that simple.

He took us to church as a family, and on Mother's Day every year he got a corsage for my Mama, Granny and for his little girls. When he'd give me that rose every year I was so happy. I just love that my Daddy was the first man to give me flowers.

Our cabinets were always overflowing with food, as were the freezer and the refrigerator. This was back before any of the large wholesale chains existed, but as I grew older I understood the reasoning behind the huge stockpile of food. His children were never going to be hungry like he had been in the past.

I have been with my Daddy when he left boxes of food on the porch of someone that he knew needed it. He would always say that we should never mention it because it might embarrass the person, or make them feel bad. He taught me kindness towards others,and to be generous when others had less than you did, and to do so humbly. God warns us not to toot our own horns and my Daddy knew that.

He taught me that sometimes silence is better than the fight. My Daddy is not a fan of violence but somehow he conveyed through his silence that should it ever come to a physical altercation, he would without a doubt be the winner.

He taught me that vengeance belongs to the Lord. He taught me to stay out of trouble, and to be the best person I could be. Many times I have seen my Daddy take the high road.

When I was about 8 years old I hit a softball and broke a window at one of the neighbors houses and the man came out and screamed at me until I cried. I went home and my Daddy asked me what was wrong and I told him about it. He hugged me tight and told me the next time any adult started yelling at me, for any reason, run to him and he would handle it. The next thing he did was go over to the neighbors house and let that man have it in a big way for screaming at me. He told him that if he decided to scream at someone in the future, it had better not be his daughter. He then repaired the window. He made me feel safe.

He took us fishing when we were little. He bought us all new fishing poles and when we got to the lake I was the first one that he set up. He baited my hook, cast my line out, and showed me how to reel it in. He got my brother and sister set up and as he was working on setting his line, I caught a brim.

I reeled it in just as he had shown me, yelling for my Daddy the entire time. I could see my Daddy running towards me but there was one problem. I hadn't reeled the line in short enough to control it and the brim was flipping around. That was freaking me out, and just as my Daddy was about to reach me the fish flipped and slapped against my leg...well that was it... I threw rod, reel, brim and all in the lake. My Daddy just stood there beside me as it sank to the bottom.

He was silent for a moment, and then he knelt down beside me and he said "Sugar, just watch your brother and sister.". He taught me patience.

He worked very hard to take care of Myself and my four siblings. My Daddy provided for us by installing flooring. I have seen him come in from work and lay his money out bill by bill across his dresser to let them dry while he showered, because they were wet from the sweat of his labor. I never knew what it meant to need anything and not have it.

My Daddy has always been there for me. I have had many times in my adult life in which I have been overwhelmed and when this happens I go to my Daddy's house and I sit on his front porch and rock with him or sit in his garage while he piddles around working on something and we talk. I call this "turning myself in". In those moments all of my cares seem to go away, and I am just for a short while taken back to the feeling of being his Little girl and he is in charge. It is an amazing feeling.

My life was quite disastrous about a year ago, and I felt sure everyone was talking about me. I went right to my Daddy's. He knew what was wrong before I ever got there, and that was good because when I pulled up to his house and saw him sitting outside all I could do was let the tears flow.

He just looked at me and pointed to the chair next to his, and he said "Sit down sugar". I sat down and then, at 70 years old, he wrapped his hand around the arm of my chair and pulled me closer to him. He looked right into my eyes and he said two things. First he said "Do you have it right with God?", I said yes sir, and then he said "screw everyone else.".

He followed those things up with "I have an extra bedroom in there (as he nodded toward his house), and you always have a home here with me. Needless to say I cried harder. He put his arms around me and let me cry. When I was done, and had dried it up, I thanked him for being the most amazing father and then I got in my car and I thanked God for letting him be my Daddy.


Thank you Daddy for being such an amazing man, for always making me feel safe, for being a man of God, having such great character and class, and for setting things right with your mere presence. You are forever my hero and I love you beyond words...Always

Artist...God

A mother as she holds her sleeping child....

The bluest skies, sometimes pure and sometimes scattered with the whitest clouds.

A single rose found where you least expect it.

A tree covered by Wisteria to the extent that it simply drips lavender.

Trees draped in Spanish moss which as they are  touched by a Summer's breeze sway every so slightly.

Dogwoods in pinks and pure white...  Azaleas in full bloom displaying the brightest magenta...

Magnolia trees heavy with their large white blooms resting under a beautiful moonlit sky.

The most gorgeous sunrise or sunset that presents itself as the back drop for waves that are gently rolling into white foam caps as they travel inland from where the sea appears to meet the sky.

Honeysuckle vines in full bloom that permeate such a sweet sweet smell.

The colors of the leaves on the trees in the North Georgia Mountains in the Fall.

A landscape blanketed in snow and completely undisturbed...pure beauty.

These are just a few examples of what I call God's Artwork.

 There are and have been artists in this world who had and have great talent and whose works have been

labeled masterpieces.

I will say that the great works of those artists are both amazing and beautiful, and are without a doubt to be appreciated.

I however, see God's works as awe inspiring, gorgeous, breath taking  works that cannot be duplicated

by even the greatest of artists.  They are created in real places and are there for us in real time...

They are to be cherished and appreciated by us in the moment in which God presents them to us.

Each and every day we encounter God's amazing works and for me these are beyond all doubt the true

and indisputable masterpieces....

Do yourself a great service....

Stop and enjoy these masterpieces as God puts them before you...soak them in.....

Be Still and know that I am God...Psalm 46:10