"Final Wishes"

My husband said to me one night that he didn't think that he would live to be very old. I could tell by the way he said it, he was being serious, so I Just looked at him and said "Don't worry about it. They say only the good die young, so you'll be around for a long time".

I then became very quiet. After a short time he looked at me and said "what's wrong with you?" I said I just realized...I'm so screwed. He cracked up.

This led to us discussing things like what we would do if the other one went first, and what we would want done, should we be the one that goes first.

He began by asking me to bury him in his police uniform, and to be sure that his name plate and serving since pins were on his shirt. His logic behind this request was that #1, God would be able to identify him without looking for his name in the book, and #2, It would be readily evident to God that he had spent 25 plus years as a humble community servant. Just to Sum it up...He's looking for brownie points.

Of course, my husband, being a Christian, knows that this is all futile because when it comes time to stand before God, our lives are what they are, and we will have done what we've done. Some of us will just be in a little more trouble than others. We both also know that there will be no "guilty with an explanation" on judgment day."

At any rate, that particular part of the conversation ended with me telling him that I would do as he had requested and honor his wishes.

When it was time for him to say what he would do should I go first, it was no problem at all . . . Without hesitation, he said he would marry someone about 25, and try and move on. He said it would be tough, but life must go on, and he knew that I would want him to be happy.

When it was my turn to make requests, I said if I should happen to go first, I want lots of flowers. I let him know that my friend Tracey has been asked to check my hair, if she finds it unacceptable... closed casket...not up for discussion. I said I want my nails painted, and if the polish is left chipped in the slightest way, I will be back.

I also requested bracelets, and a little perfume. I mean the Bible does say "the dead in Christ shall rise", and I want to be presentable...I'm in enough trouble.

Another thing that I told my husband was that I expected tears, and lots of them. I told him I wanted my funeral to include a slide show of my life, and him on the front row crying like a girl.

I made one last request using an idea that I had heard from another married couple earlier in my life. I told him that he should bury me with a shovel. He immediately responded with "why in the world would I do that?". I let him know that it was completely for his benefit.

He then wanted to know how that would benefit him? I said well, when Jesus comes again, as I rise up from the ground, if I don't see you, I thought you might want me to start digging, but if you don't think it's a good idea I can live with that. "No tears past the gate", so I'm good either way.

After telling him that I hadn't given much thought to what I would do should he go first, I just simply promised to keep in mind what I had learned from him. Especially the part about how life must go on, and being happy. I assured him that I would try to do exactly as he would do, if the shoe were on the other foot.

As far as headstones go, he pointed out one in Oakland Cemetery in Atlanta, one day when we were there, that said a woman's name, followed by "Went through life merrily doing good". He said he was going to put that on mine... I , in turn, promised to put something great on his as well, like for example; "Keep the line moving".

We handle pretty much all things with humor at our house, but I will tell you that many of the above requests are things we actually want done. Neither one of us would ever take the others death lightly. In fact, we would be devastated. It's just that when you are speaking about personal desires involving death and a loss of that magnitude, it's easier to convey and receive each others wishes with a little humor added in.....

Good Lord..We have to laugh, and I can't expect the man to get all upset and cry now, when we are only discussing it... especially since he's going to have to come up with all of those tears when I do go...