"When All Else Fails Accessorize"

My Husband has been retired now for five months, and he is becoming more of a hot mess with each and every day that passes.

He has done several "great" things to keep himself occupied since his retirement, for instance, painting numerous sample colors on the walls in our house and never actually making a choice and painting.

He is so full of ideas, that when I go to work, it's almost the equivalent of leaving a toddler home alone. The only difference is he can drive, which gives him the ability to go out and get things whenever the spirit moves him, like paint samples for example.

He can also browse the Internet and make purchases which, again, also makes him much more dangerous.

My husband is also "the creator of outfits". I have touched on his wardrobe choices in some of my previous writings, but for those of you who haven't read them let me give you a brief description of a daily ensemble... please keep in mind when you are forming this visual that he hasn't held a razor but once since last May...

T-shirt..old, and weather permitting, no sleeves. This allows a full display all of his arm "ink".

Cargo Shorts...worn solely, I believe, to show off his sock and shoe choices to the fullest.

Soccer socks, vibrant colors and stripes are a must. These are worn pulled up all the way to the knee, or pushed all the way down, depending on the mood of the day...

Shoes vary from Crocs to Ed Hardy...

His entire look when all pulled together says "I am a pure Situation"...

I thought that his look was about as far as he could go to draw attention to himself when we are out.....I was wrong.....

I came home from work the other day and discovered that he had made himself a purchase...In the form of an accessory...He had gotten himself a new pair of glasses.
He was just standing there with them on waiting on me to walk in and experience the wow factor.

Considering he did the purchasing, I probably don't need to tell you that these were not an average looking pair of glasses, so I will jump straight to the description.

He is the proud owner of a pair of black framed glasses...not just ordinary black frames, very large ones..Huge. That's right, I'm talkin' Harry Carey. They are just about the exact same glasses...I know this to be true, because I checked on google images after the shock had worn off.

I just looked at him and said Seriously??? He said "I am serious. I like them." I was stunned into silence.

The overall look of the glasses combined with his fashion sense sent me reeling. He had me feeling for the sofa behind me so that I could sit down. I thought to myself he's finally done it...we can never leave the house together again....

I looked at him again, and I said "Yes sir...When all else fails accessorize". At that point I had no choice but to leave the room. I had to go and soak in a hot bath, because I needed desperately to be alone.

I had to try to fully absorb what I had just seen, and then pray for myself some patience and understanding... and even more importantly... some mercy......