Mr. Romance Strikes Again

I have written, on more than one occasion, about my husbands lack of romantic ability, but this week he said something that prompted me to have to do so again.

Now you might be thinking that I'm expecting some mushy over the top romantic candlelit dinners, or flowers being sent on no special occasion, and that kind of thing. I can assure you that I'm not expecting any of that. I am a realist, who happens to be no where near delusional.

When I say that my husband lacks romance, I mean the man doesn't have a romantic bone in his entire body. To give you an idea let me present you with a few of the past incidents as evidence of this fact.

Here goes..He took me to the movies twice in one week and actually skipped a seat between us both times. There have been numerous Valentines day cards that he has given me over the years that were completely void of any reference to love or romance whatsoever. (Yes, they actually make them.) One that comes to mind said "On this Valentines Day I just wanted to tell you how I feel. That was on the front of the card, and inside it said.. "I feel fine.".

Good Lord the man can't even play along with holiday rules. I haven't been kissed under mistletoe since I married him. Last year I even hung a sign in my office at home that said Mistletoe testing done here...hint hint. I got nothing.

One evening I completely lost my mind and suggested that we make a calendar appointed date night once a week. He responded with "Why do I need to take you on a date? We've been married for twenty something years.

Yes, as you can probably already tell my husband is just full of cupid inspired remarks. A virtual fountain of love.

Anyway, on to what great thing he said this week. We were lying in bed and about to go to sleep and I looked at him and said "It bothers me that you never kiss me goodnight".

I want you to know that he looked at me and without any hesitation whatsoever, answered with a remark that was so intelligent, if I didn't know he had gone on to the hereafter, I would have thought I was sleeping with Einstein himself.

He said "It's implied". What?? Who being told that someone would like to be kissed goodnight says off of the top of their head "It's implied."?? Are you kidding me??

I was stunned into silence. I thought right then and there that of all the great things he has said to me in the twenty something years of our marriage this one was the winner.

Do you think that he laughed or bothered to say he was kidding...Oh no. He meant it. He actually thought he had given me a suitable answer. When I found my voice I said "Wow. So an implied kiss is the same as one that involves actual physical contact. Honey, you might not believe this, but I had no idea.".

We went to sleep as usual, without the goodnight kiss, but I couldn't help thinking that if a kiss could be "implied" then so could other things....

I had no idea that for years I could have been responding with "oh that? It's implied."...