"Post It Notes For The Neighbors"

There are few things in this world that annoy me more than people who have tacky things going on outside their homes for their neighbors to enjoy.

I wave, or speak and say hi when my neighbors are outside, but that's about the extent of it. I mind my own business where my neighbors are concerned, and I appreciate the ones who give me that same courtesy.

There are several things that some of them do, however, that make me desperately want to leave them post it notes.

One of the things that drives me insane is when people hang up sheets or other fabric to cover windows. You have seen this before I am sure. This includes fabric of loud solid colors, bold patterns or stripes, as well as bed sheets with juvenile prints on them.

You know the ones, superman, batman, strawberry shortcake, etc.. Doing this takes tacky to another level. Their post it note would read: "You have tacky fabric hanging up in the front of your home, just to let you know."

Another pet peeve of mine is when people leave their garage doors open. I don't want to see the contents of your garage, nor, I feel certain, do the other neighbors.

What makes this one even better is that inevitably the same people who leave their doors open are the same people who have more content in their garages than they have in the Smithsonian Institute.

For a bonus these people make sure that it always looks like an atomic bomb was recently detonated in the center of it all.

Post it note for these people: "Close your garage door on your personal disaster area, Thank You!"

The next thing that I love to see a homeowner do is paint their home in bright colors such as lime green, street line yellow, or royal blue with dark blue shutters, just to name a few.

When I see this, I just want to knock on the door and say things like; "why?" "Was the paint free?", "Are you color blind?", "Please, help me understand!" Post it note: "You are killing me with the exterior paint !"

Oh, and let me not forget the wonderful people with such excessive Christmas spirit that they decorate their homes with strings and strings of lights and NEVER take them down.

You've seen them. The lights that still remain up in July and August. This to me is the equivalent of putting a large banner in front of your home that reads "I am the laziest human being on Earth!"

I mean this problem is easily solved. Post it note for them: "If you can't expend the energy to take your Christmas lights down, leave them in the attic....Christmas was over six months ago! Spread the word!!!"

Now, on to the individuals who think that they need to wedge a large metal framed swing complete with awning onto a porch that is at most two feet wide. Post it note: "Large swings with awnings are for the yard people!"

And last but not least, as far as flower pots, gnomes, flamingos, and other miscellaneous yard decorations go....Post it note: "Less is Best on the yard decor. Simplify, Please!!"

The thing that really slays me about all of the things that I have listed above is that these homes are owned by people with enough sense to be licensed drivers and yet they pull up in their driveways each and every day and evidently think that these great choices are all good ones.

Obviously, I need to give great consideration to taking this whole post it note gig on full-time upon my retirement...

Of course, that would be lots of work. Maybe I should just get a flamingo and a gnome and put my Christmas lights back up and go with that whole "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em" motto....