"Bless Her Heart"

I was thinking today that we Southern women have tempers just like everyone else. I was also thinking that when we do get mad and decide to say something to another person, who has caused us to find ourselves in such a state, we attempt to do so politely. We were, after all, taught to always use our manners.

I will give you a few examples. A woman who isn't from the south might just yell and scream, if she gets mad, but not us. We would say something to let others know we're not happy with them and follow it up with "bless your heart"...

Example: "Honey You're about to be "taken out on the veranda" and you haven't the slightest clue what's coming, bless your heart." A trip out onto the veranda means you're about to get a verbal tongue lashing like you haven't ever heard. I'm talking about a lecture so intense we may not even pause to breathe during it's delivery. These are given when it becomes necessary to "set someone straight", so to speak.

Bless your heart is also used at other times, such as when a group of women are talking about one particular person that they have a strong dislike for. I say dislike because we never say we hate someone. We say we dislike them, or that we don't particularly care for them..

Example: If a woman was acting as if she thought she was better than the other ladies, they might say something like "Her nose is so high in the air, if it rains she'll drowned, bless her heart." The added statement of bless your heart making it sound as if we are expressing concern for her well being.

.. or maybe we might start with Bless her heart and say something like; "Bless her heart, look at that dress, her taste is all in her mouth".

Sometimes it's even simpler and more direct than that, like..."She's such a miserable witch, bless her heart". Bless her heart, in this case, enabling any listeners to have the slightest doubt about whether or not the fact that she is a witch is entirely her fault..almost as if the poor thing may not be able help the way she acts.

This phrase is so wonderful and versatile it even works in the middle of a sentence.
Example: "She can't help it, bless her heart, she's just straight crazy."

I do have to mention that this phrase is also commonly used when we are expressing sympathy for a person. It makes sympathy, when given, seem even more sincere, and when we are speaking about someone in a derogatory manner, it does take the edge right off of rude and nasty, doesn't it?

I have certainly said my share of bless your hearts when I've gotten upset or had a dislike for someone, and I will tell you, that I've had people walk away from me so confused they aren't sure if they can't stand me, or want to come back for tea one afternoon...