"Boys Will Be Boys"

My granddaughter spends the night with me one or two times a week, and I take her to school on my way to work. She is six years old, and in the first grade. We always have conversations about how things are going in her life during our morning commute.

She tells me about everything from her parents and little brother, to her teacher and the other students in her class. We talk about things like fashion and academics, and sometimes even boys. I think that she feels very comfortable talking to me, and I love that. I am her Mimi, and that's how our relationship should be.

She tells me about some of the students having to "pull their cards", because they don't know how to behave. She also told me that she has never pulled a card, and she thinks that those who do pull them just don't want to learn. She told me that she loves school, but that some of her friends act like they hate it.

The conversations about things like "pulling cards" are the easy ones, but every now and then she'll say something that requires a little more thought on my part. That is exactly what happened one day last week.

We were riding along talking about her Dolce and Gabana Sunglasses, when all of the sudden, she said "Zach(not his real name)wants me to audition for him for American Idol."

She said "Not for real or anything, just pretend". I said "really". She said "Yes. He wants me to do it during recess." Then she said "He said I have to dance for him when I sing, because you have to dance and sing when you are a on American Idol."

Well that did it...I instantly became internally unglued. The nerve of this kid, asking my granddaughter to dance for him. I mean, who knows what he's seen on TV, or at home for that matter. There are poles on playgrounds for God's sake.

I had a few thoughts, none of which I could share with her, but some of which I will share here with you...

1. Not while I have a breath in my body will you be dancing "for" some boy during recess, or at any other time in your life.

2. Zach doesn't even know how to recognize that type of girl yet.

3. Zach is six years old and if he did see a girl who would dance for him, he doesn't have a job, money, or a clue on how to fold it..

4. Zach is most definitely headed for reform school.

After nearly running completely off the road and having to regain a steady heart rhythm, I told her simply that I didn't think that "auditioning" for Zach was a good idea at all. She instantly wanted to know why, and so I just told her that she is an amazing singer, and that she didn't need some silly little boy to verify that.

Then, remembering another conversation we had earlier in the year about a little girl in her class, (I'll call her Hope) saying that a little boy named Joe was "sexy", I said Maybe he can get Hope to audition for him.

She didn't understand my suggestion about Hope, but I had to let go with a little sarcasm somewhere. I needed the release.... I then told her that either way she wasn't to do it, and she assured me that she wouldn't.

As we pulled up in the car line at her school, I wished her a great day, told her that I loved her, and bit my tongue to keep from yelling at her little back "stay away from Zach and Hope", as she got out and walked inside.

As I drove away I couldn't help but wonder if Zach was just another example of kids growing up to fast these days, or if this was just a simple case of "boys will be boys".....

Either way, I'm just glad I had the opportunity to talk to my granddaughter about it all, before that little Hugh Hefner wannabe's first round of "auditions" began...

Lord have mercy on a Grandmother....