Fifteen, Legal, And Dangerous...Ready, Set, Drive

When I was fifteen years old I wasn't like most teenagers.  I didn't care one whit about learning to drive a car.  However, my identical twin sister did, and all of our young lives if one did something the other did it too, so off to the DMV we went to obtain our learners permits.

I have to tell you, it was a circus from the start, as far as my story goes.  We walked up to the counter with my Mom, and she produced our birth certificates and whatever else was required at the time, and the uptight looking lady behind the counter gave us a little white card to fill out and pointed each of us in the direction of an electronic machine where we were suppose to take our test.

My sister went to her machine, filled out her card, tested, passed, picture made, no problem.  I  on the other hand was a cluster.

 It started when I began to fill out the little white card.  I am left handed and so as I was filling in the blanks I caught out of my peripheral vision the pictures changing in the monitor that displayed the test.  As it turns out I was answering questions with my left forearm as I wrote.  Oh yeah...

After a mini freak out in which I was trying to determine what to do, I decided to approach Ms. Uptight and explain the situation.  You guessed it.  She was not to be swayed by my explanation but agreed to check the machine and see if  my forearm had exceeded the amount of questions you were allowed to get wrong and still  pass the test. I think the number that you were allowed to miss was three.

The evidence showed that my left forearm lacks intelligence as far as the rules of the road go and so Ms. Uptight, no gray area, informed me that she had no choice but to fail me.  She then stated that I could return and try again the following day. Thanks for that.

When we were back in the car with my Mom, she said don't worry, we'll come back tomorrow.  I said I'm not worried I don't care. My mom had different ideas and said that she wanted me to have my permit in case I changed my mind once I saw my sister learning to drive, and so the next day we made a return visit.

This time I managed to keep my forearm in check and I passed the test no problem...I was legal to get behind the wheel of a car...Let the lessons begin.

That evening my Mother got into the car with my sister and I for lesson one. My sister was the first one to drive.  She totally nailed it.  Her ability to drive gave my mother a false sense of security, bless her heart.  She had no clue just how much our abilities could differ.  She was soon enlightened.

My sister stopped the car and I ran around and jumped in the drivers seat.  I began by putting the car in gear and "punching" (I believe that was the word my mother used) the gas. I was oblivious to the fact that my twin hadn't even gotten her door shut yet until my mother yelled "You almost slung your sister out in street.! Arlene you have to wait until all of your passengers have their  doors shut and their seat belts on before you start driving."  I said yes ma'am and continued down the road.

The next "great" move occurred when I made a right turn.  I turned the car so smoothly and straightened it up nicely, and then asked my mom how I had done.  She looked at me, and in her very serious voice said "That was perfect honey. If we were in England!!" I was confused for a moment, but my twin was more than happy to bring me up to speed,  she announced between her bursts of laughter that I was on the wrong side of the road.

I rectified that situation as quickly as I could and then we were rolling along again.  I was doing much better until my mother asked me what the letters stood for by the gear changer knob thing.  She, of course, advised me to keep my eyes on the road and then She began the quiz.

 She said "What's the P stand for?"  I said park or stop or whatever.  She said yes park.  "Now what about the N?"  I said I'm not sure."  She said "it's Neutral Arlene, you can't go anywhere in neutral".  I thought to myself that neutral sounded a lot like park but I kept my mouth shut and then she asked the final question.  "What about the S?"  Well I felt very confident about this one and just knew I was going to wow her with my answer when I said "Oh!! That's for Sideways."

In that moment my mother looked at me like I had lost my mind, and I knew she needed further explanation when she said "Sideways???"  With a questioning look on her face.  Well wanting to clue her in,  I said "You know Mother it's for like when you are on the interstate and you want to change lanes.  You just put the car in sideways and you get over."

I wasn't expecting her response.  She said simply "Arlene, Stop the car."   I asked her why and she said "Just stop the car and I'll explain it all to you when we get home."  She took over the driver's seat and we returned home immediately.

When we entered the house my sister was laughing so hard I believe there were tears, and my mother was totally distraught.  She was trying to explain to my Dad what she had just experienced and when he was finally able to wrap his mind around what all I had done and said during my "lesson".  I heard my mother say she is just dangerous!  My Daddy with his sweet self said "It's okay sugar.  You're just not ready yet."

My mom recovered and I did get my drivers license at sixteen with only one mistake during my test, which was a grand improvement.  I drove the entire test with the emergency brake on.  My sister had gone first and passed so there might have been some sympathy from the poor guy giving me the test, but I can't be sure,  I mean if he didn't see the big red light on I feel sure he could smell it! Lord knows I could.   I have decided, however, that since I have no proof,  I'm going to claim that I was issued a license on pure skill.

I didn't drive very much at first.  I sort of eased into it a little bit at a time, but I feel okay about that now.  I mean sixteen is mighty young to be behind the wheel of a car, and how in the world do they expect you to know all of that.  The drivers test says nothing about which side of the road to be on or what those letters stand for.  They really should have included that in the study Manuel.

Seriously, my mind was probably all clogged up with more important issues like what I was going to wear to the high school football game that Friday night..or the boy I had a crush on at the time...
A girl has to prioritize...