Saturday, November 5, 2016

Silence Is Golden...Well Maybe Not Always..

So my husband and I probably fuss pretty regularly, and for two people that have lived together for as long as we have I figure that's pretty normal.  I mean living with anyone for a long time will cause some nerves to be worked now and then. Right?

That being said, we had one the other day, that in retrospect, I have to laugh at.  Needless to say, it was all his fault.

I came walking down the hallway into the den, completely minding my own business.  He looks at me, as I'm walking by, and he says "Why are you ill?  I  paused to process what he had said, and to ask myself if I had heard him correctly.  Deciding that I had, I replied with "I'm not ill.".

His next statement was "Yes you are.  I can tell.".  Well considering I hadn't opened my mouth,  I found myself thinking, Well John Edwards dig deeper into your prophetic talents, and see what my problem is, because I've got nothing.  Trying not to let this turn into a big deal, I responded instead with I haven't even spoken to you.

Not willing to give it up he replies "Yes you did.".  Deciding that he had completely lost it , I kept the line moving and headed on into the kitchen .  I needed Java.  I was just going to let him have that little bit.

What does he do next? He followed me.  I'm standing at the counter in front of the cabinet, and he walks up with an attitude and says "Could you please hand me the Pop Tarts/"

Well now I'm getting mad at all of this unwarranted negativity he's giving me, and so I reach inside
the cabinet and I slam the Pop Tart box down on the counter.  He doesn't say a word he just gets one out and goes back in the den.

Now it's my turn.   After a few minutes pass I decide I can't let it go.  I looked at him from the kitchen and I said "what is your problem this morning?".

His response:  "Don't talk to me."  Well I have to tell you this  middle school reply cracked me up.
I said you must be joking.  He said "Don't talk to me anymore today! I'm done with you!"

I said seriously??? You have created all of this in your rabid little mind and now you aren't talking to me and you have no reason.  What is wrong with you?

That's when he shouted "You broke my Pop Tarts."  I immediately thought dear God, I have married a man with the I.Q. of a toddler.

I looked at him, and after a hard pause, I said "Well what fresh Hell is this that has you eating broken Pop Tarts.  I mean,  your life may as well end now if the rest of your days are going to be as bad as this one.  Lord I thought the economy being in the tank was bad, but bless your heart, I had no idea your Pop Tarts were broken."

I think at this point he knew, on some level, that he was acting like a two year old, but he was to far in.  There was no turning back.  His ego just wouldn't have it.

And so the day rocked on, and the silence resonated throughout the house.  Fast forward to about 8 p.m., and he suddenly walks up to me and says "I'm sorry, I overreacted this morning."  Well now you know my sarcastic self couldn't stop my immediate thought, which was...Overacted?  You made that obnoxious girl who turned blue in Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory look like a saint.

Instead of expressing my actual thoughts, and risking round two, I just said "That's fine, but I do have to tell you that if you act this way again tomorrow, I will be forced to take away your recess."  He just chuckled, and I said "No.  Seriously!   Ain't nobody got time for another scene  like we had today.  It was about like one out of War Of The Roses, and  over a broken Pop Tart....No child. No....






2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Bahaha i have missed you writings love it

Arlene said...

Thank you so much! I really appreciate you taking the time to read what I write and I am so happy that you enjoyed it.

 
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